Reflection
by NarglesandNifflers
Summary: Jimmy reflects on his unlikely friendship with Thomas.


Jimmy is pleasantly surprised to discover that being friends with Thomas Barrow isn't so bad after all.

He still has the uncomfortable memories of the first few weeks into their newfound friendship. The way Thomas would purposely make sure that his gaze wouldn't linger on Jimmy for too long. The many times Thomas had gone out of his way to ensure they weren't left alone together.

Jimmy has always known that Thomas was doing this for him.

He has always known that Thomas was trying to put him at ease. Trying to reassure him that nothing else was going to happen. Trying to convince him that the only thing between them was friendship.

Jimmy had been glad, grateful towards Thomas for not trying anything else, and satisfied that the man seemed truly sorry about what he had done. But as the weeks passed, they had steadily grown closer.

It eventually reached the point where their friendship was so strong, they were able to sit in the servant's hall after everyone had gone to bed and talk together quite happily. Jimmy still doesn't feel uncomfortable sitting alone with Thomas – he knows him now, trusts him. He knows Thomas would never make the same mistake again.

Jimmy recalls the time that Thomas had told him about his time during the war, and the blind soldier who had killed himself. Thomas had remained remarkably calm as he had told Jimmy all about Lt Courtney, but Jimmy had seen the sadness in his blue eyes, and the tears threatening to fall. He had known that Thomas wouldn't cry - he couldn't imagine him crying in front of anyone, but he could still sense the man's sadness. He had wanted to reach out and take Thomas's hand, as a comforting gesture, but something had held him back.

He remembers when he had told Thomas about his family, a few weeks after the story about the soldier. Talking about the time when he had arrived home after fighting in the war and found his mother on her deathbed had been hard, he wasn't going to deny that. But Thomas had been kind, he had understood, and he had comforted Jimmy with his words, though still wary to touch him, even as a comforting gesture.

Jimmy still isn't sure why he told Thomas that. But he had been bottling up his grief for too long, and it had felt good to let it all out.

A month or so later, Thomas had told him about his friendship with O'Brien. Jimmy had been shocked, to say the least – he still was. But Thomas had told him that he was a far better friend than O'Brien had ever been.

"We had a friendship based off almost nothing," he had told Jimmy. "We both hated similar people, but we weren't really _friends._ We were more…partners in crime, if you know what I mean."

"Partners in crime?" Jimmy had repeated. "That sounds ominous."

Thomas had chuckled in response. "We would plot against people we didn't like. But I'm a better person now I'm not under her influence. We're better off not being friends, both of us."

Jimmy thinks back to this conversation, and he understands what Thomas means, and has questioned him about it no further. He is starting to consider Thomas as his best friend, and he doesn't want his opinion of the man to be ruined due to past wrongs Thomas may or may not have done.

Deep down, he knows that he will probably bring it up sometime. But not yet. He doesn't want to talk to him about that yet; he doesn't feel that he is quite ready.

The other day, Thomas had told him about the time he had locked his Lordships dog in the shed. Jimmy finds this faintly amusing, although he isn't sure if he wants to hear more tales of that sort from Thomas. He believes Thomas is a good man, and he doesn't want to think of Thomas doing these sorts of things. He tells Thomas this, and he can tell that the man is touched and gratified at being described as a good person.

"I wouldn't do something like that now," is all he says in response to Jimmy's queries, and Jimmy's mind is put at rest.

Just yesterday, Thomas had tentatively, cautiously, told Jimmy the true story about how his hand had got shot during the war. This time, Jimmy had had no hesitation in reaching forward and taking Thomas's injured hand in his, squeezing it lightly to remind him that he was with a friend, and that he didn't judge the older man for what he had done.

He is starting to look on Thomas as the closest, truest friend he has ever had, which seems strange considering what had happened just a couple of years ago. It surprises Jimmy when he remembers that the 'incident' only occurred two years ago, when in his mind it seems as though it was a decade ago. He can hardly remember what Thomas was like then; he can only remember the Thomas he knows now, with his smiles and quiet conversations with Jimmy, which Jimmy knows mean a lot to him.

Whatever happens, Jimmy is sure that he and Thomas will never be torn apart. He hopes, as cliché as it may sound, that they will remain friends for the rest of their lives.

**A/N: The ending is a bit cheesy, but it was the best I could think of! And I'm sorry for the rather unimaginative title - I really struggle to think of good titles for stories.**

**I really hoped you liked this, because I'm defintely not confident with it. Don't even know why I wrote this, seeing as it has no plot whatsoever. It's a bit different to anything I've tried writing before...that probably showed!**

**I'm always grateful for reviews, thank you for reading! :)**


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